


To Forget Forgiveness

by Ruunkur



Series: The Nabatean Labs [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Consensual Memory manipulation, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25027093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruunkur/pseuds/Ruunkur
Summary: Would you be willing to forget those you loved if it meant you didn't live with the guilt anymore?
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Edelgard von Hresvelg/Hubert von Vestra
Series: The Nabatean Labs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1812346
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	To Forget Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the movie "The Endless Sunshine of a Spotless Mind". Excellent movie, I definitely suggest watching it.

It had felt like every step was new. Something that she got to breathe in and experience, even if the people around her gave her a look.

There was something that had felt like the ghost of a touch, each time she turned, calling out a name that didn’t quite leave her lips right.

Edelgard would ignore the scratching sensation under her skin, whispering that there was something missing. She would continue on her day, breathe in the fresh air and experience something new.

It was always like a switch, from one step to the next. A small laugh and then a small frown, wondering what there was to laugh at.

What she didn’t understand was the sad look she received from the man at the stables. She would take her horse past, see him leading his own.

He would raise a hand before he would drop it, frowning once more. It was something that she was supposed to ignore. She didn’t realize that her feet were taking her to the man, her hand reaching out to touch the horse’s mane.

“That looks like a horse I knew, some time ago.”

Her gaze flicked up to the man who was seated on the horse. He gave her a small smile, nodding. “A very reputable breeder sold him to me some time ago. His name is Hubbie.”

Edelgard let her hand run along the horse’s neck. “Ah, he’s the son of one of my studs, then.”

The man nodded, a smile crossing his face. “Yes, I believe he is. I am Ferdinand von Aegir, you must be Edelgard, correct?”

She nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “You’ll have to forgive me if I didn’t remember you right away, it has been a very few busy weeks.”

Ferdinand merely shook his head, smiling at her. “He’s a very good horse and long has been my favorite horse to ride.”

“I’m glad that he could give you such pleasure.”

Their exchange felt more like a mending than a meeting. Edelgard waved to Ferdinand as he rode off on the black horse, returning to her own and touching her muzzle.

It would happen more often during the fall. She would return to the stables that she had met Ferdinand at, hoping for a glance. While she always saw the horse in the stall, she did not see the owner.

It would be another two months, during winter when she was practically stranded, that she would meet him again. He swept through the stables, his hair pulled back and she stopped, studying him.

“It’s wonderful to see you again Ferdinand.”

Ferdinand stopped, turning to glance at her before he smiled, tight eyed. “Yes, I believe it is wonderful. Tell me, how have you been Edelgard?”

Edelgard slipped into the conversation like how the fish slip into a stream. Soon, she found herself circling closer and closer to Ferdinand, speaking to him more and more.

She would find that he would try to avoid her, try to ensure when she would be there so he wouldn’t be.

It hurt, a deep ache she couldn’t find the source of. When she talked to him about it, he tried to deny it, but she found it improved, just a little bit.

They would spend more and more time together, getting to build a relationship on something more than sand and chance meetings. It was during one of their dinner dates, in mid spring, that Edelgard took note of the ring on his finger.

Ferdinand smoothed out a wrinkle in his pants as she asked the question, glancing at it with another one of the tight, fond smiles he believed he never gave.

“I had a partner who died, three years ago. We had been together a long time. It drove a wedge between my other partner and I. We separated after that.”

Edelgard withdrew her hand from where it had been lingering, placing it back in her lap. “I’m sorry to pry into your personal life.”

Ferdinand smiled at that, shaking his head. “Do not worry, it’s been a while. I’m of the habit of wearing the ring still.”

“I’ve never seen it before.”

Ferdinand nodded. “It’s because I wear gloves.”

“I’ve…” There’s a pause and Edelgard has to close her eyes, pressing a hand to her forehead. The wave of dizziness passed and she placed her hands back into her lap. “Of course, I forgot.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He smiled again, reaching out and taking one of Edelgard’s hands. “It’s easy to overlook. Now, will you tell me…”

She drifted through the rest of spring, listening to the hum of birds.

It wasn’t until it was midsummer that Edelgard realized she was wearing a ring. It fit, perfectly, without her having ever remembered receiving it. A small engraving she couldn’t make out was familiar to her fingertips as she ran them over the object.

She filled her home with friends and parties as the summer months wore on, finding Ferdinand at more and more of them, even as she forgot she had invited him.

They danced between each other, holding out a small piece of themselves. Dorothea would roll her eyes, tapping Edelgard’s shoulder and gesture to something or another, as they drew further apart until they were turned back towards each other.

She would breathe and offer him a hand.

He would smile, sad and small, but take her hand. They would dance, slipping out of their skin to step beyond that.

It was always with Ferdinand that Edelgard drifted. It felt, in its own way, correct in a way that it hadn’t been in some time. She felt hollow and empty and Ferdinand was a warmth of his own, burning bright and soft.

It was during the short season of fall that Edelgard found herself riding towards a clearing. She hadn’t been there in some time, but the path was well worn. It was close to the stable she kept her horse, but far enough away that no one came there.

When she stopped, it was with surprise. Standing at the entrance to the small clearing was Ferdinand, his arms crossed over his chest.

She slipped from her horse, frowning at him. There was a moment that she hesitated, a moment she wanted to draw back from, but the world stopped, holding its breath for just a moment.

“You should go back to the stables, you don’t look so good.”

Edelgard blinked and she stood up, brushing herself off. “I don’t know what came over me, I’m sorry.”

Ferdinand shook his head. “It’s not a problem. Would you like me to ride back with you, in case you fall again?”

Edelgard shook her head. “I’m quite fine now, I don’t need a sitter.”

“Of course.” Ferdinand lifted his hands, taking a step back. She drew herself back up on her horse, turning around and leaving.

It was only when she was further away from the clearing did she wonder how Ferdinand had known about it.

The next time they met, Edelgard took the initiative, extending an invite to dinner to Ferdinand. When she gave him a look, she insisted it would be on a date. Ferdinand had opened his mouth before he closed it.

He had given her a look before he nodded, agreeing to a date, unlike the circling they had been doing for months.

And it worked, for a time. They fell into a pattern that wasn’t quite unlike what they had before. Now, Edelgard would take Ferdinand’s hand and he would lean in and kiss her, whisper secrets in her ear.

It felt natural, though something pricked at the back of her mind. She expected, one night as she listened to Ferdinand dress for bed, that a comment was missing. That something had once been said that no longer existed between them.

Ferdinand had joined her, pulled her into a hug and kissed the base of her neck, asking what was on her mind. Edelgard had just shaken her head, rolling over to face him. She would press a hand to his chest, letting him know that nothing was wrong.

Their relationship continued and grew, blooming into something full and wonderful. Edelgard would see Ferdinand playing with the ring on his finger and she would find her hand on her own ring. It was placed on the right hand, rather than the left and she frowned.

When Ferdinand had seen what she was doing, he stopped, letting out a laugh and asking her about the ring, to which she laughed and admitted that she didn’t know, but she enjoyed the feel of the incomplete engraving.

They went back to the easy swing of things, nothing out of place.

But it felt wrong. They played their roles, but something was missing, making Edelgard ache in confusion.

When she mentioned this fact to Dorothea, the woman had given her a soft, sad look. “Do you really want to go down this path, Eddie?”

Edelgard opened her mouth before she closed it. She twisted the ring on her finger, Dorothea letting out a sigh. “Yes.”

“If Ferdinand asked you to marry him tomorrow, would you say yes?”

Edelgard hesitated, glancing down at the ring on her finger before she looked back up at Dorothea. “I… would be thrilled to.”

“I want you to watch something.”

Edelgard frowned as Dorothea got up from the couch, heading over to the CD case under the tv. She pulled out a disc, placing it in the player before she picked up a remote.

“You were married to Ferdinand von Aegir until four years ago.”

“But… I don’t remember that.”

Dorothea turned to the tv. “You were also married to Hubert von Vestra, before he was murdered four and a half years ago, protecting you from a gun.”

Edelgard swallowed, turning to the tv. Dorothea pressed play, memories filtering through the screen.

The pieces clicked into place, each memory bringing the pain back to Edelgard. She opened her mouth, drawing in a breath before she slumped her shoulders. There were memories of the wedding; of Edelgard between her two partners.

Each moment played out and Dorothea paused before a scene of her and Hubert walking. “You don’t have to-”

“Play it.”

There was an iron in Edelgard’s voice, something that felt like fire in her insides. Parts of her life were scraped and pulled from her and she was angry.

She watched as the bullet struck Hubert and he collapsed, Dorothea reaching out to touch her shoulder. More scenes followed, scenes of Ferdinand and Edelgard fighting, arguments blowing up.

Words, hateful and mean, spat at each other.

A decision for Edelgard to forget, when the pain never got better.

Edelgard swallowed hard, curling her hand into a fist. The golden gleam of the ring Ferdinand had made for them, caught her eye and she felt her stomach lurch.

“Eddie?” Dorothea moved to touch her shoulder. “We can call the Nabatean Labs, if you-”

“No.”

Edelgard stood, brushing Dorothea off of her.

The curtain of the play fell, showing Edelgard the truth of the matter.

Behind the glamour and the niceties, darkness lay and, for once, she was ready to face that darkness.

And she was grateful, when Ferdinand offered her a hand to help her remember the light.


End file.
